Dodgy doggie cream cakes

It’s a somewhat convoluted story, but I somehow recently procured a Vietnamese fighting fish called Eckhart (after Herr Tolle…is that sacreligious?) and was supposed to be looking after it like a guardian angel while its owner was on holiday in Thailand. Polish my halo indeed. Halo, Hello?

I know the probability of this is pretty darn low, but of all unbelievable things poor ole Eckhart (or Eggsy, as he became affectionately known) was later found missing from his bowl. A tropical fish thief on the loose, perhaps? Or a maybe cat with a Vietnamese fighting fish fettish? No, of all shocking things he was later found (identified and confirmed to be the fish in question) on the floor. Turns out he’d lept out of his bowl to meet his fate. A dry one at that, poor thing.

Oh dear.

I sugarcoated the drama and pitched it to the owner upon arriving back from Thailand that there was no Eggsy waiting, but rather a nice anecdote to tell your grandchildren instead. And that fish heaven was a better place to have Eggsy in it.

Thankfully, the tears only lasted a couple of weeks.

Not that Eggsy was ever replaceable, but you know, sometimes a bowl looks kind of empty without a fish in it. So I suggested a new fishy-poohs might be in order.

You’d think that Vietnamese fighting fish would be two-a-penny. But nooo. What an ordeal trying to get a new one. Obviously Eggsy wasn’t that replaceable afterall.

After traipsing the length and breadth of Osaka we finally happened across a new age pet shop in Namba Parks called P2. Yes, not only Vietnamese fighting fish in every colour under the sun, but also prehistoric white shiny newts with frightening external gills and pointy manes. And…get this…cream cakes for dogs. At a special pet delicatessen counter, no less. Ruddy ridiculous.

So anyway, we plumped for a blue chiffon fish and called it Pai Lin. But we lodged a formal complaint when we discovered to our horror that the line in cream cakes was strictly limited to dogs. How utterly prejudiced!

So we went straight to the nearest supermarket bakery and stocked up on creamy delights. Needless to say, Pai Lin was delighted.